I had a phone date with one of my oldest girlfriends yesterday. We don’t do it very often. I could blame it on distance, family and work. All of which is true. But truth be told, I’m also crap at talking on the phone.
I love getting my girlfriends all together and hang out. To be honest, it’s one of the things that matters the most to me. But it’s something with the phone that makes me feel even more distant at times.
Relationships that matter
With my friend on the phone, while softly listening to “we are family” in the background it reminded me how much I love her. How much I love spending time with just my girlfriends.
That’s why we are planning a girl’s weekend. In her city and having a girl’s night in. No kids, no partners, no phones. Only us. There is something truly magical that happens inside my body when I get to spend time with girlfriends. I feel completely happy. Just from a girl’s night in.
And research shows that we need more girl’s nights in. Because of good friendships, we live longer and we feel happier. When we are happy everyone benefits from that.
Also, it’s a stress reliever. When we connect on a deep level and aren’t afraid of being judged or have to keep up appearances we reduce the amount of stress in our bodies.
Also see: why female friendships matter.
Now I know that finances are also one of those things that can really make it hard to see each other. Especially when you live far away. Being twice divorced being a single parent to two boys I know this well. There are always other things to prioritise. But really prioritising your wellbeing being is crucial.
When I lived alone my apartment was often the place we used to hang out for a girl’s night in. I’d cook, someone would bring snacks and someone else drinks. As much as I love my hubby I miss those days when I could just invite them all over.
We are family
My girlfriends are my chosen family. I would dare say that I’m honest in a very different way with them than anyone else. Maybe that says a lot more about me than anything else. But above all my friendships with my girlfriends make feel complete in a different way than my partner does.
Also, I don’t expect the man in my life to be everything to me. My girlfriends fulfil me in a very different way. We talk about everything, challenge each other’s views and have a strong loyalty to one another.
This means something. This means that I feel safe and I never feel alone. Which is also a very strong connection to having a long and happy life. Loneliness kills. Having strong friendships is of the strongest factors to leading a healthy life.
Science is telling you to have a girl’s night in
Besides all this, there is also proof that friendships can make us live longer. One study even suggests that good friendships can make us better at enduring pain.
Which kind of make sense when you think about it. When you feel good our feel-good hormones called oxytocin increases. Which increases happiness, the overall feeling of well being. It also makes you more generous and friendly. All of which are wonderful traits to find in a friend. So get your girls ready for a girl’s night in and get your oxytocin flowing.
A very long time ago I read a study made in Latin America. The study was about women giving birth and how it affected them to have a close female friend in the birthing room instead of their male partners.
The study showed that when supporting females wherewith the woman giving birth stress hormones were reduces and consequently the need for pain medication was reduced.*